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The Grizzly, Pound the Pound and the next Adventure ........

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How is it April already!? So far its been a good year for me running wise, I haven't been training too hard but I've been a lot more consistent than this period last year, adding a lot more variation to my running, tempo runs, speed work and HR runs this this has helped me massively when it has come to race day. The first one being The GRIZZLY which is a 20 mile mostly trail route down in the seaside town of Seaton in Devon, the seafront is closed off to traffic and the whole weekend is a bit of a party atmosphere, the route is a must for anyone thinking of doing it, beautiful trails/views, coast path, bogs and lots of mud. The support around the course was amazing, you even run through the beer garden of  a pub with bands playing and people cheering you on. The beach sections were absolutely horrid trying to run on those pebbles was energy sapping.  Unfortunately my knee went funny after about 6 miles and I was in agony for the rest of the race but I still managed a pretty re...
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A year since i first posted.......

 a year ago I decided to write a blog,  it was after a pretty shit time with my mental health, it was the best way I could share how I was feeling, to share how I chose to not let it beat me,  i didn't get into running to run away from my issues I chose it to run at them head on,  by pushing myself harder physically than i ever had before i realised that mentally I was a lot stronger than I thought I was,  through all the suffering, all the times i wanted to stop, all of the pain i unwrapped a lot of the old shit that was weighing me down, I'm in a much better place now than I've ever been, I'm a completely different but 100% better version of myself, I'm part of an awesome running club where I've made loads of new friends something that i wasn't sure on at first as i have always been happiest in my own company but i absolutely love it, for as loud and boisterous as i can be, being around new people or big groups is what i find the hardest not really knowing...
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100km Ultra Marathon - RACE TO THE STONES

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    To live is to suffer, to survive is to find the meaning in suffering. I have never really believed in myself, I think when we are young our minds are vulnerable to what we hear, it imprints itself deep inside our subconscious where it controls our lives without us really knowing its happening. All of us at some point will have been told we are not good enough, we are not ready, we cant do it! all of us will have been laughed at for having an idea? a dream? and most of us will go through life never really achieving anything outside the norm because of this, because fitting in is easier, I choose not to fit in. The last 2 years has taught me that we as humans are capable of so much more than we think is possible, you can achieve anything you want, anything at all but you have to be willing to suffer, you have to be willing to sacrifice for your goal, whether that's a long run, a fitness challenge, a new career or different lifestyle, step outside of what's normal challenge y...
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My first virtual fitness challenge

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 This June I took part in my first ever virtual challenge, It was a month long challenge from the running and fitness brand ROKMAN . Their aim is to provide the challenges, sportswear, content and community to help you achieve a better level of health, fitness and mental resilience. I have followed them on Instagram for a while, and have listened to all their podcasts which are well worth a listen in their own right  -  Rokman Podcasts . it was after listening to one of the episodes, which really connected with me that i reached out to terry who is the founder of Rokman to tell him how much i enjoyed it, he saw i had my own blog and asked me if i would take on one of the monthly virtual challenges and give it a write up, in return for a free entry and t - shirt, I jumped at the chance. I've never been a fan of virtual challenges but after a quick scope out online these seemed different and I thought it would be some good content for my blog, so I signed up for the June ch...
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Completing my first Ultra Marathon - "the fire was lit"

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I am no expert but for me the main problem around mental health and how its viewed by society is that it can be so on and off, I've heard people say 'you either have mental health issues or you don't' its this kind of attitude that stops people admitting or talking about there problems as they feel as if they won't be acknowledged or brushed off as just having a bad day, This is exactly how I felt and it wasn't until I went to speak to someone that I could see from the outside what was going on.  I finally felt like I could deal with my problems head on and running was my plan of attack. I know my issues will never completely disappear and will always linger below the surface but I now know what worked and I wont allow myself to be controlled by it again. I mentioned in my previous blog that I had started to read, well I'm only really into real life stories, autobiographies and the like and it was around this time on social media that a guy called David Gogg...
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Finding myself at 36

 Its an unnerving feeling to not really know who you are?  I had never felt like this before, in my head I was questioning everything I felt, everything I said, even everything I had done. I would think back to particular events, such as the way I spoke to someone or even stupid things I had got up to when I was younger and I would start to feel embarrassed, paranoid about whether that's how I was remembered, often overplaying scenarios in my head about how or what I should have done differently "that's Steve Whitworth he was a right twat when he was younger" was how I worried people spoke about me.     (to be fair there were a lot of times I fitted that bill) I quickly realised that although my counselling had been a great way for me to unburden 20 years of grief and anger it had opened a whole other box of shit that I had no idea was coming. Officially I was diagnosed with complex PTSD (survivor syndrome) even this would make me embarrassed to think about, as what ...
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Where it all began

 Where do I start? Why running? well why not, it all starts back in 2019 just as the covid outbreak started and all our lives changed. Everything I had been trying to keep a lid on over the years erupted into a spectacular outbreak of anger, depression, self loathing and this incredibly strong brain fog like feeling that would keep me zoned out for hours at a time.  It quickly started to affect my relationship, and my work life and I had to admit that I needed help. I was signed off of work with stress and I sought the help of a councilor and although helpful it didn't seem to change anything for me. neither did the 5 days a week I would spend at the gym which had been regular as clockwork for me since about 2017. With lockdown shutting the gyms my wife suggested I go out for a run, it was only a few miles and I didn't really enjoy it but the next day I went again and then I started going almost daily increasing the miles until I had ran 10 miles at that point the furthest I h...
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Location: Ilfracombe, UK
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